While I’m often too sentimental and too ‘myself’, I still wholeheartedly believe it’s worth sharing with you, even if you only follow for what I cross off. So, here it goes. A year ago today my life changed. And as I reflect on this, here is what the last year being weighted by death has taught me:

• Do nice, kind things. Don’t do them because you have to or have something to gain. Just look for opportunities that give nothing but goodness to someone, to everyone.
• Petty, trite, meaningless, dramatic, careless interactions are useless and should be avoided. Love difficult, illusory, callus people from far away. Don’t run towards anguish.
• Softness, gentleness, compassion and graciousness are the most underappreciated traits a person possesses and if you recognize that in someone, compliment it, appreciate it. And spend more time loving them and less time picking them apart.
• Be chaotic, and complicated, and busy with your life. Don’t let people tell you not to do things that you know in your heart you want to. Following your dreams often means leaving people to tether their own.
• Don’t look for permission to be yourself. Prove you to you, every day. No one else. And don’t assume people need your permission to live and lead their own.
• Love is garnered by learning how to love yourself at your worst and then giving it away. Fall in love with places. And people. Even strange ones (that goes for places and people).
• Be happy for others successes and celebrate them – but not if their success belittles your own. Truly good people value and hold onto each other. Not undermine them.
• If you want a seat at the table, you have to become a valid stakeholder. Play a part. Take a stand and be directional.
• Family is pliable, cooperative thing. It takes attention and faith and even tolerance. And it’s not about blood or biology or borders. It’s about commonality and being there. Figure out who yours is and give them everything.
• You might find that your life is better after, and it doesn’t mean that you loved that person any less. More powerful, more purposeful, more emotional, more, more, more. And that really is alright.
• And make goals, big and little. From getting out of bed to changing the world. And write them down. Life is ending one minute at a time, how many goals have you actually crossed off your list so far?